Keywords For Misc. (G-H): Aristocracy, Bigotry, Children, Criminal, Despicable Behavior, Honor and Integrity, Hypocrisy, Infidelity, Lies, Taxpayers' Money, Un-American

NICKNAMES: Right Wingers, Nazis, Fascists, Aristocrats, Fanatics, Zealots

Jim Gilmore (Lies, Bigotry) 

FACT: A Jim Gilmore spokesperson confirmed last week that financial assistance will not be available to the same-sex domestic partners of those killed on September 11. Peggy Neff, whose partner died in the Pentagon, recently received a letter from the state that read, "Please accept our condolences on the loss of your friend, Sheila M.S. Hein. We regret to inform you that you are not eligible to file a claim for benefits under the Virginia Victims of Crime Act.'' And so Neff, who had planned to scatter her partner's ashes in their garden, will now probably have to give up the house instead. "Our law is pretty clear on who is eligible, and it does not include domestic partners,'' said Gilmore spokesman Reed Boatright. ''(Gilmore) can't just rewrite laws with the stroke of a pen. If he could do that, we'd have a kingdom.'' However, that New York Republican Governor George Pataki did just that when he signed an executive order allowing gay victims' surviving partners to receive assistance from the state victims' fund. 

Philip Giordano (Honor and Integrity, Criminal, Hypocrisy) 

FACT: According to the Hartford Courant, Republican Mayor Philip Giordano of Waterbury, CT, was arrested by the FBI for "using an interstate facility to entice a minor to engage in sexual activity, and conspiracy to use an interstate facility to entice a minor to engage in sexual activity." Giordano is being held without bail and faces up to ten years in prison. 

Philip Giordano (Despicable Behavior, Criminal, Hypocrisy, Honor and Integrity)

FACT: Philip Giordano, the Mayor of Waterbury, CT, was arrested on federal charges of child sex abuse. It turns out that Giordano had an "inappropriate relationship" with two girls, aged 9 and 10. That's the sick and disgusting part - now for the arch hypocrisy. Philip Giordano ran against Joe Lieberman for Senate last year, and it was reported last week that during the campaign, Giordano blasted Lieberman for failing to "protect children from pedophiles." 

Bernard Goldberg (Lies) 

FACT: Bias, the new screed by CBS "insider" Bernard Goldberg that claims to "out" the media as liberal. According to Goldberg, the media "pointedly identify conservative politicians as conservatives," but rarely use the word "liberal" to describe liberals. However, a professor at Stanford University announced the results of an informal study, which concluded precisely the opposite of what Goldberg claims. Geoffrey Nunberg did searches of articles from 30 major newspapers, including such alleged bastions of liberalism as the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the San Francisco Chronicle. His conclusion: "the average liberal legislator has a thirty percent greater likelihood of being identified with a partisan label than the average conservative does."

Mark A. Grethen (Honor and Integrity, Criminal, Children) 

FACT: Thanks to his commitment to the conservative agenda, and his impressive history of financial support for GOP candidates and the National Republican Campaign Committee, Mr. Grethen was named "Republican of the Year" and was invited to Washington, D.C., by none other than U.S. Rep. Tom Davis of Virginia. But it turns out that the Republican Party wasn't Grethen's only obsession. He's also likes molesting kids, and has a 26-year prison sentence to show for it. 

Rudy Guliani (Hypocrisy, Honor and Integrity, Infidelity) 

FACT: Rudy was perhaps the most classless infidel in recent memory, publicly maligning his wife while flaunting his mistress. A Truly classless individual! Recall that Rudy was an outspoken critic in the campaign against Clinton’s own infidelity.

Robert Hanssen (Un-American, Criminal)

FACT: It has been recently revealed that not only was Hanssen a member of the notoriously conservative Catholic group Opus Dei, he was also a key player during Ronald Reagan's administration - gathering information on left-leaning groups for any signs of possible Communist infiltration. According to the New York Observer, "As later Congressional investigations would show, what this often meant in practice was the harassment and sometimes the smearing of Americans engaged in lawful political activity. Among the many groups under surveillance by the F.B.I. in those days were the Gray Panthers, nuclear-freeze advocates associated with SANE - and the left-leaning Catholic adversaries of Opus Dei who opposed the American-backed repression in Central America." Hanssen also provided information to Robert Novak which Novak used to attack Janet Reno. 

Chris Hill (Honor and Integrity) 

FACT: The National Republican Congressional Committee first they gave their coveted Republican of the Year award to convicted child molester Mark A. Grethen and now it turns out that one of the men who may replace Mr. Grethen is Chris Hill of Sarasota, FL, who ran one of the fastest-growing businesses of 1999, according to Inc Magazine. The problem is that Mr. Hill's business is making bongs. He's facing up to 20 years in prison after being charged by federal prosecutors in Iowa with distributing drug paraphernalia. However, his pipes are only illegal if vendors know that people who buy them will use them to smoke drugs. 

COMMENT: Does anyone anywhere know of someone that actually uses bongs and/or pipes (not the kind Grandpa used) to smoke regular, (albeit addictive and destructive in its own right) tobacco? So where can the GOP possibly find a Republican of the Year that is not into child sex or drugs? This is indeed the cream of the conservative crop.

Karen Hughes  (Hypocrisy, Honor and Dignity) 

FACT: USA Today reported that the White House overnight list was free from big campaign contributors. Bush is "keeping his promise," she said by keeping his contributors out of the Lincoln Bedroom. Unfortunately instead, Bush:
1) gave them a huge tax cut
2) Let them crush Japanese students while piloting a US nuclear submarines
3) Installed them in cushy ambassadorships
4) Told us we would have to spend our fake tax “rebates” on their overpriced fuel, and 
5) Let them trash the environment for their profit. 
COMMENT: Tell you what, I would let them stay in the Lincoln bedroom permanently if we could get back just one of these things. 

Tim Hutchinson (Hypocricy, Honor and Integrity, Infidelity) 

FACT: It is well-known that Tim cheated on his wife. Recall that Hutchinson was a leader in the campaign against Clinton’s own infidelity.

Kay Bailey Hutchison (Criminal, Taxpayer's Money, Aristocracy, Ethics) 

FACT: "Senate staff are compensated for the purpose of assisting senators in their official legislative and representational duties, and not for the purpose of performing personal or other non-official activities." - so says the Senate Ethics Manual. But now Kay Hutchison, the junior senator from Texas, is causing a bit of a stir on Capitol Hill. It was alleged last week that she is indeed using her staff for unofficial and personal duties - duties which include chauffeuring her husband around town, checking out the mall sales at Tyson's Corner, Virginia, and bringing bagels and coffee to her home every morning and waiting on the doorstep without knocking until the door is opened. In fact, a source in her office reported that Hutchison threw a fit when a staffer showed up one morning with bagels from Union Station and not from her favorite bagel shop at Dupont Circle (halfway across town). However, it's not the first time that Hutchison has been in trouble for this kind of behavior - when she was Texas' state treasurer back in 1993, several staffers publicly accused her of making them perform personal tasks, and she was indicted by a grand jury for official misconduct that same year. 

Henry Hyde (Hypocricy, Honor and Integrity, Infidelity) 

FACT: It is well-known that Hyde cheated on his wife. Recall that Hyde was a leader in the campaign against Clinton’s own infidelity.

Henry Hyde (Honor and Integrity, Hypocrisy) 

FACT: One of the lead attack dogs on Clinton and moral critic, Hyde cheated on his wife. Shockingly, there were no follow-up impeachment hearings for Hyde.