Keywords For Misc (N-S): Bigotry, Church-State Separation, Criminal, Despicable Behavior, Election 2000, Energy Policy, Environment, Ethics, Flat World Society, Honor and Integrity, Hypocrisy, Labor, Lies, Nepotism, Nuclear Proliferation, States' Rights, Stupidity, Taxpayers' Money, Terrorism, Warmongering, Women's Rights

NICKNAMES: Right Wingers, Nazis, Fascists, Aristocrats, Fanatics, Zealots

Grover Norquist (Support Terrorism) 

FACT: The FBI targeted the Safa Trust, a Saudi-backed charity, in an anti-terrorist raid. Embarrassingly, the Safa Trust is also known for its substantial financial support for the US-based Islamic Institute, which was created to build support for Republicans. The UK Guardian reports that the Institute "helped to arrange meetings between senior Bush officials and Islamic leaders" through the services of conservative activist Grover Norquist, president of Americans for Tax Reform. In fact, Norquist and the Institute are so entwined that they share an office. 

Robert Novak (Environment, Energy Policy) 

FACT: While interviewing Rep. Robert Wexler of Florida on CNN last week, he refused to admit the truth about drilling in ANWR, and ended up resorting to childish me-first scare tactics. "You may ridicule wildlife," said Wexler, "but some of us believe it's very important. It's the last pristine spot in the country, and the return that you are going to get isn't going to be worth the environmental danger." Novak retorted, "What about the 600,000 barrels a day?" "We could get far more with conservation," continued Wexler, "we could get far more by drilling for oil where we're already drilling." And finally, in a convulsion of conservatism, Novak closed with "You just want, you and all the greenies, just want me to get out of my Corvette." 

COMMENT: No Bob, actually we want you to stay in your Corvette. In fact, maybe we could weld the doors shut so you can never come out. Seriously though, don't soil your trousers, Bob. You can keep your Corvette, it simply has to use current technology instead of the 19th century anachronism currently housed under its hood. Even if the solution weren't so simple, God forbid any Republican anywhere ever sacrifice anything for the good of humanity and the planet.

Kay O'Connor (Flat World Society, Stupidity, Women's Rights) 

FACT: Kansas state senator Kay O'Connor recently took the unusual step of denouncing the 19th Amendment when she was asked to appear at the Johnson County League of Women Voters' ''Celebrate the Right to Vote'' luncheon. She declined, telling organizer Delores Furtado that ''You probably wouldn't want me there because of what I would have to say.''  According to O'Connor, ''Men should take care of women, and if men were taking care of women (today) we wouldn't have to vote.'' Apparently O'Connor doesn't care much what her constituents think of this view. ''If I don't get re-elected, my only punishment is to go home to my husband and my roses and my children and my grandchildren.''

George Pataki (Hypocrisy, Taxpayers' Money) 

FACT: When George Pataki ran against Mario Cuomo for New York Governor, he blasted Cuomo for using public money to swan around the state in a private jet. But what's this? It would appear that Governor Pataki took 34 flights between March 1999 and November 2000, to the tune of $136,636. Not only that, but Pataki decided that rather than use state aircraft he would take luxury charter jets, and managed to get a temporary waiver so that he could spend more than the state-allowed limit on these flights. 

The Pentagon (Election 2000) 

FACT: The same New York Times article which accused Katherine Harris of being a partisan hag also pointed out that during the recount process, the GOP requested that the Pentagon provide them with the private e-mail addresses of military personnel. And wouldn't you know it, the Pentagon was more than happy to just hand 'em right over. Many of these email addresses belong to people who had post marks after election day. 

Dan Quayle (Nuclear Proliferation, Warmongering)

FACT: Dan Quayle was back in the news when the former Prime Minister of New Zealand, David Lange, claimed that New Zealand's anti-nuclear stance once made him an assassination target. Apparently Lange told NZ's ONE News that there was "personal pressure" on him from Dan Quayle: "There were veiled threats, there were specific threats that were made to other countries... it was announced to the Australian cabinet at one stage that I would have to be liquidated." Fortunately for David Lange, he had some good advisers. "I enquired of our security sources and was told I shouldn't regard it as a credible threat because the vice president wasn't regarded as credible."

Robert Ray (Lies, Criminal) 05/2002

FACT: Counsel Robert Ray just issued a report, in essence, absolving the Clintons on the Whitewater issue. At the same time he was finishing the report, he was planning a run for the U.S. Senate in New Jersey against Senator Toricelli. Ray clearly violated the intent of Justice Department guidelines, perhaps even broke the law, by commencing a run for office while serving as the so-called "Independent Counsel."

Lisa Riddle and Brigham McCown (Hypocrisy, Lies, Election 2000) 

FACT: The last time they showed up at the Palm Beach County Election Office, political consultant Riddle and attorney McCown were furiously arguing that dimpled chads would not, could not, and should not ever count as votes. That was, of course, when it looked like their man Bush might fail in his bid to cheat his way into the White House. Luckily, these two little GOP Nazi's heeded the decree by the felonious five not to use "Bush v. Gore" as any sort of precedent. Indeed, their U-turn prowess went unmatched as they appeared at the Election Office again last week to argue on behalf of Boca Raton council candidate Susan Saxton, who finished two votes behind incumbent Dave Freudenberg after Tuesday's election and Wednesday's machine recount. Of course dimpled ballots should count as votes, they argued, it's clear evidence of a voter's intent! When asked about this blatant inconsistency, McClown said, "there's no inconsistency". 

George Ryan (Criminal, Honor and Integrity) 

FACT: The Governor of Illinois has come under fire for his alleged role in a campaign-cash-for-favors scheme when he was Illinois Secretary of State. An official in Ryan's office has admitted that he was given permission to trade low-digit license plates in exchange for contributions to Ryan's campaign. And according to the Chicago Sun-Times, one individual told a grand jury that he gave Ryan $25,000 cash -- money "that went into Ryan's pocket, not his campaign fund." Federal officials "have obtained a list of people who hold license plates between 1 and 999, a list that includes politicians, their relatives and people who often donate money to politicians. The plates are considered the ultimate sign of clout." 

The Salvation Army (Bigotry, States' Rights, Church-State Separation) 

FACT: The Salvation Army wants to discriminate against homosexuals - and it looks like the Bush administration is willing to help out. An internal document revealed that the White House made a "firm commitment" to protect the Salvation Army from state and local employment regulations which would prevent their discriminatory hiring practices. In return to the White House, the Salvation Army promises to hire lobbyists and spending up to $110,000 a month to promote Bush's "faith-based initiative," the program that funnels taxpayers' money to religious organizations. Have you donated lately?

Judge N. Sanders Sauls (Election 2000, Despicable Behavior, Lies)

FACT: Judge N. Sanders Sauls was the judge who dismissed Al Gore's case for recounting the ballots in Miami-Dade, forcing him to go to the State Supreme Court. It turns out that Judge Sauls was going to be a guest speaker at a rally organized by FreeRepublic.com along with the another guest speaker  Katherine Harris. Ironically, the rally is titled "Celebrating America, Our Constitution and the Rule of Law." 

Eugene Scalia (Nepotism, Taxpayers' Money, Ethics, Election 2000, Labor)

FACT: The New York Post reported last week that Eugene, the nominee for Labor Department attorney, will be up before the Health, Education and Labor Committee in September. However, Eugene didn’t quite get the free ride that Strom Jr. received. You see, Eugene face a tough time over some comments he made, "Ergonomics is quackery" - it's not like he’s ever had to actually do any hard work in his life before, so how would he know? Although it's lucky for him that his daddy was in charge of deciding who won last year's election, otherwise he probably wouldn't have been nominated at all.

COMMENT: It seems that affirmative action is a-okay with the GOP when you're talking about rich white men.

Rev. Louis P. Sheldon (Bigotry, Stupidity)

FACT: Rev. Louis P. Sheldon, chairman and founder of the so-called Traditional Values Coalition said that relief agencies should not give assistance to surviving members of gay partnerships. Groups "should be first giving priority to those widows who were at home with their babies and those widowers who lost their wives," he said. Assistance "should be given on the basis and priority of one man and one woman in a marital relationship." 

Tom Shortridge (Honor and Integrity)

FACT: Tom Shortridge, a South Bay Republican campaign consultant, was given three years probation last week. His crime? Taking dubious photographs of teenagers. Shortridge's attorney, Carl "Tony" Capozzola said his client acknowledged that mistakes were made, but did not believe the photographs of the 15- and 16-year-old girls were sexual in nature. Which is odd, because the investigation was started when a girl told police that her 16-year-old friend was given $100 and a beer to model topless for Shortridge. Apparently her friend told her that Shortridge had "about 50 pictures of naked girls," of the same age group. But of course Shortridge wasn't up to anything fishy. They were, um... modeling shots... officer. Shortridge could have gone to prison for six years if he had been convicted of molestation, but he pleaded "no contest" and was sentenced to apologize to the girls and their parents, undergo psychiatric counseling, perform 200 hours of community service, and refrain from contact with girls under 18 unless in the presence of another adult. His plea bargain (which incredibly reduced three misdemeanors and a felony to two misdemeanors) also assured that he would not have to register as a sex offender. 

Chuck Spingola (Bigotry, Hypocricy, Stupidity) 

FACT: Chuck Spingola, and some members of his ministry, "Missionaries of the Pre-Born" were visiting the University of Wisconsin campus to talk about the evils of abortion and homosexuality, which unfortunately didn't go down too well with some of the students. During a confrontation, Spingola allegedly started choking a gay man, while telling him that his time had come to go to hell. 

Bob Stump (Lies, Criminal, Ethics)

FACT: Arizona state laws say that voters may only cast ballots in areas where they have an "actual physical presence," ie. where they live. Sounds simple. But not if you're House Armed Services Committee Chairman Bob Stump, no sir. Stump admitted last week that he never actually lived in the precinct where he has voted for the last 41 years. Bob's voting address is listed as a farm he owns in the 3rd Congressional District (which he represents). But despite claiming that the farm is his legal residence (and despite the fact that his constituents might expect their member of Congress to live in the same district they do) Bob's resides 17 miles away in Phoenix, in another congressional district. Still it's understandable. 

COMMENT: Unfortunately, Lying about one’s residence comes easy for republicans (as does every other type of lying). Take Dick Cheney for example, Although The Veep had a house in Colorado, he actually lived for years in Texas while he oversaw various criminal activities at Haliburton. Why is this such a big deal? Well, it seems that the law says that both the President and the VP cannot come from the same state. So how do you get around that when both reside in Texas. Simple, just lie.

Jane Swift ( Criminal, Lies, Hypocrisy)

FACT:  A $100 fine? That's what Massachusetts Governor Jane Swift got when it was revealed last week that she and her husband, Charles Hunt, lied on their 1994 marriage application by saying he had been married only once before, when in fact he had been married, um, three previous times. According to the Boston Globe, Swift said that they were trying to keep her husband's "private life private," and they obviously "made a misguided decision." Never mind that she is an elected official who committed perjury. Recall that the last elected official who committed perjury in order to keep his “private life private” was impeached. Oh, but of course Swift is a Republican and laws don’t apply to them.