Linda Chavez (Anti-Labor, Hypocrisy, Criminal, Slavery) 

FACT: Linda Chavez-Thompson is nominated as Secretary of Labor. It is discovered that she has been using Guatemalan immigrant Marta Mercado as a house servant for two years, paying her about $14 per week, a total of $1,500 over that span. She withdraws her nomination. Chavez had led the charge against Clinton nominee Zoe Baird, who had hired an illegal immigrant as nanny and paid her prevailing rates. Chavez also is a foe of minimum wage laws. Elaine Chao, wife of Senator Mitch McConnell, replaces her. 

Philip Giordano (Honor and Integrity, Criminal, Hypocrisy) 

FACT: According to the Hartford Courant, Republican Mayor Philip Giordano of Waterbury, CT, was arrested by the FBI for "using an interstate facility to entice a minor to engage in sexual activity, and conspiracy to use an interstate facility to entice a minor to engage in sexual activity." Giordano is being held without bail and faces up to ten years in prison. 

Philip Giordano (Despicable Behavior, Criminal, Hypocrisy, Honor and Integrity)

FACT: Philip Giordano, the Mayor of Waterbury, CT, was arrested on federal charges of child sex abuse. It turns out that Giordano had an "inappropriate relationship" with two girls, aged 9 and 10. That's the sick and disgusting part - now for the arch hypocrisy. Philip Giordano ran against Joe Lieberman for Senate last year, and it was reported last week that during the campaign, Giordano blasted Lieberman for failing to "protect children from pedophiles." 

Mark A. Grethen- (Honor and Integrity, Criminal, Child Molestation) 

FACT: Thanks to his commitment to the conservative agenda, and his impressive history of financial support for GOP candidates and the National Republican Campaign Committee, Mr. Grethen was named "Republican of the Year" and was invited to Washington, D.C., by none other than U.S. Rep. Tom Davis of Virginia. But it turns out that the Republican Party wasn't Grethen's only obsession. He's also likes molesting kids, and has a 26-year prison sentence to show for it. 

Robert Hanssen (UnAmerican, Criminal)

FACT: It has been recently revealed that not only was Hanssen a member of the notoriously conservative Catholic group Opus Dei, he was also a key player during Ronald Reagan's administration - gathering information on left-leaning groups for any signs of possible Communist infiltration. According to the New York Observer, "As later Congressional investigations would show, what this often meant in practice was the harassment and sometimes the smearing of Americans engaged in lawful political activity. Among the many groups under surveillance by the F.B.I. in those days were the Gray Panthers, nuclear-freeze advocates associated with SANE - and the left-leaning Catholic adversaries of Opus Dei who opposed the American-backed repression in Central America." Hanssen also provided information to Robert Novak which Novak used to attack Janet Reno. 

Kay Bailey Hutchison (Indictment, Taxpayer's Money, Aristocracy, Ethics) 

FACT: "Senate staff are compensated for the purpose of assisting senators in their official legislative and representational duties, and not for the purpose of performing personal or other non-official activities." - so says the Senate Ethics Manual. But now Kay Hutchison, the junior senator from Texas, is causing a bit of a stir on Capitol Hill. It was alleged last week that she is indeed using her staff for unofficial and personal duties - duties which include chauffeuring her husband around town, checking out the mall sales at Tyson's Corner, Virginia, and bringing bagels and coffee to her home every morning and waiting on the doorstep without knocking until the door is opened. In fact, a source in her office reported that Hutchison threw a fit when a staffer showed up one morning with bagels from Union Station and not from her favorite bagel shop at Dupont Circle (halfway across town). However, it's not the first time that Hutchison has been in trouble for this kind of behavior - when she was Texas' state treasurer back in 1993, several staffers publicly accused her of making them perform personal tasks, and she was indicted by a grand jury for official misconduct that same year. 

Karan Kumar (Stupidity, Criminal, Honor and Integrity)

FACT: The New York Times reported that Kumar, a prominent Republican from Nassau County, NY, had come up with a rather unorthodox solution to a problem which had been troubling him - namely, articles appearing in local magazines accusing him of being involved in criminal activity. Kumar decided to fake his own kidnapping in the hope that his enemies would be investigated. This plan backfired after Kumar was "released" and discovered by police in a local park. Unfortunately for Kumar, he couldn't describe any of his kidnappers. Nor could he explain why they let him go. It was not immediately obvious why he was wearing different clothes to the ones he was kidnapped in. And then of course there was the cab driver who told police that he'd given Mr. Kumar a ride from Queens to the park in which he was found. Karan Kumar was questioned by the police and admitted to the deception, revealing that he'd been staying in a motel in Queens watching TV coverage of his disappearance for two days. He now faces up to two years in jail on two misdemeanor charges of making a "punishable false written statement." 

Drew Lewis (Criminal, Stupidity)

FACT: Drew Lewis used to work for Ronald Reagan as Secretary of Transportation. Failing at his job, he was replaced by Elizabeth Dole in 1983. Lewis was arrested for drunk driving after he flipped his Lincoln Navigator while leaving his driveway. Yes, driveway. Lewis proceeded to tell the police officer who responded to the accident that he was "too drunk to get out," according to the Allentown Morning Call. Lewis faces thirty days in jail if convicted. Yeah Right.

COMMENT: As ridiculus as this sounds. It should be taken very seriously. This is a man, a past high level official in a presidential administration, who decides that he should risk the lives of others, understanding full well that he was far to incapacitated to drive. He should be in prison.

Edmund Matricardi III (Criminal, Honor and Integrity)

FACT: The AP reported that the executive director of the Virginia Republican Party, Edmund Matricardi III, allegedly tapped illegally into a telephone call between Democratic Governor Mark Warner, Democratic state legislators and their lawyers as they plotted strategy in a redistricting case. While Matricardi refused comment on the case, one prominent Republican gave his explanation: According to House Speaker S. Vance Wilkins, the most powerful Republican legislator in the state, "operatives play these games all the time." 

COMMENT: Obviously, this says something about the Republican practices in the great state of Virginia. Dare we extrapolate nationwide?

Robert Ray (Lies, Criminal) 05/2002

FACT: Counsel Robert Ray just issued a report, in essence, absolving the Clintons on the Whitewater issue. At the same time he was finishing the report, he was planning a run for the U.S. Senate in New Jersey against Senator Toricelli. Ray clearly violated the intent of Justice Department guidelines, perhaps
even broke the law, by commencing a run for office while serving as the so-called "Independent Counsel."

George Ryan (Criminal, Honor and Dignity) 

FACT: The Governor of Illinois has come under fire for his alleged role in a campaign-cash-for-favors scheme when he was Illinois Secretary of State. An official in Ryan's office has admitted that he was given permission to trade low-digit license plates in exchange for contributions to Ryan's campaign. And according to the Chicago Sun-Times, one individual told a grand jury that he gave Ryan $25,000 cash -- money "that went into Ryan's pocket, not his campaign fund." Federal officials "have obtained a list of people who hold license plates between 1 and 999, a list that includes politicians, their relatives and people who often donate money to politicians. The plates are considered the ultimate sign of clout." 

Jane Swift ( Criminal, Lies, Hypocrisy)

FACT:  A $100 fine? That's what Massachusetts Governor Jane Swift got when it was revealed last week that she and her husband, Charles Hunt, lied on their 1994 marriage application by saying he had been married only once before, when in fact he had been married, um, three previous times. According to the Boston Globe, Swift said that they were trying to keep her husband's "private life private," and they obviously "made a misguided decision." Never mind that she is an elected official who committed perjury. Recall that the last elected official who committed perjury in order to keep his “private life private” was impeached. Oh, but of course Swift is a Republican and laws don’t apply to them.