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Archive for Drew Johnston (Email)


10/12/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Cheney vs. Terrorists: Contest of the Ridiculous
Categories :: Media Today, we're going to play a little game. It's been a really bad week for the Government, and they're scrambling like mad to cover their respective asses while simultaneously rolling out new terror info in an attempt to throw the...

09/24/05 :: By Drew Johnston
The Friday Evening Political Test
Categories :: Blogging on Blogging This is going to be a major blogosphere meme before long, I'm sure, so I might as well join in early. A new political test has shown up (check it out here). According to the test, I'm a socialist leaning...

09/22/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Return to the Borders
Categories :: Foreign Policy

Everyone's favorite paranoid vigilantes return to the southern border.



09/01/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Conservation and the Wrath of Nature
Categories :: Environment

With gas prices skyrocketing, we must ponder - how will we live after the oil apocalypse?



08/22/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Thesis: Liberals Kick Ass
Categories :: Satire

We kick so much ass.



08/12/05 :: By Drew Johnston
On Conservative Humor
Categories :: Blogging on Blogging :: Humor :: Theories

Conservatives who aren't funny and the liberals who enable them.



07/21/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Only Political Reviews: Clerks.
Categories :: Entertainment :: Film Reviews :: Humor :: Satire

Part one in what will hopefully become a series of Only Political Reviews. First up: the independent classic Clerks.



07/14/05 :: By Drew Johnston
The Dumbest Conservatives in America
Categories :: Blowhards :: Entertainment :: Outrages

Quite a few conservative types seem to be royally pissed off that Oliver Stone and Steven Spielberg are still being allowed to make movies, a trend of grave importance that is certainly more important than any mere potential act of treason by a high-ranking White House advisor. Here's why they're mad.



06/23/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Operation Yellow Elephant: Making a Difference One Wingnut at a Time
Categories :: Conservatives :: Hypocrisy :: Republicans :: Satire

Are young chickenhawk conservatives really cowardly hypocrites, or have they just been denied an opportunity? Let's find out. An audience participation post.



06/01/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Making Sense of Fringe Right-Wing Blowhards, Part III: Fire Coming Out of a Wingnut's Head
Categories :: Satire

#3 in my series of Found Poems based on Wingnutty e-mails. If you're wondering what the jelly-donut thing is supposed to mean, well, I can't help you there.



05/05/05 :: By Drew Johnston
The Gospel According to Jeb
Categories :: Religion :: Sex :: Women's Rights

Republican morality, meet Christian morality. Oh, I see you haven't met.



04/21/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Why The Hell Are Republicans Still Clinging To Social Security Privatization?
Categories :: Bush Administration :: Congress :: Republicans :: Social Security

Why would any politician support an obvious loser issue like SS privatization? As it turns out, it may hurt more if the Repubs give it up.



04/14/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Modding the Nation: The Conclusion
Categories :: Satire

The conclusion to simulation #2. This time, it's good news.



04/12/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Modding the Nation: Taking All Bets
Categories :: Satire

The Alpha Centauri simulations return! Watch as I simultaneously indulge my love of classic strategy games and show off my political wisdom.



03/30/05 :: By Drew Johnston
My Evening With the She-Devil
Categories :: Blowhards :: Conservatives :: Pundits

The crowd of wingnuts was dense around the auditorium, in preparation for the arrival of the harpy queen of the conservative movement.



03/24/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Audrey and Terri - A Study in Fraud
Categories :: Outrages :: Propaganda/Spin :: Religion

In 1981, Audrey Santo became a living relic after an accident left her permanently brain damaged. Today, we compare Audrey to our own living relic of political convenience.



03/09/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Tactic: Watching Your Behavior
Categories :: Tactics

It's simple enough - keep it cool and you'll never lose. Well, you may lose, but it can't hurt.



02/24/05 :: By Drew Johnston
The Second Descent, or the DU Hate Mail Bag Returns
Categories :: Humor

"A Day Trip Through the Conservative Abyss"; a poem in four movements.



02/11/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Social Engineering and Social Security
Categories :: Outrages

Meet Stanley Kurtz - Wanker supreme and advocate of earth-shaking social re-engineering.



02/04/05 :: By Drew Johnston
Welcome, FReepers!
Categories :: Blowhards :: Humor

Prepare the anti-troll weapons, the FReepers are on the march!



01/21/05 :: By Drew Johnston
The Unbearable Gayness of Children's Television
Categories :: Blowhards :: Gay Rights :: Humor :: Religion

I don't get it. The media basically hands the reins of power to the "moral" Religious Right, and what do they do? They blow it by going after a cartoon character. I'm not surprised, though. They've done this before. Many times, in fact.



01/13/05 :: By Drew Johnston
The Amazing Mr. President
Categories :: Bush Administration :: Propaganda/Spin

It's bad enough that Bush's "town hall meetings" are obviously scripted. You'd think * would at least try to get his lines right.



01/06/05 :: By Drew Johnston
A Look Back - The Inanity of Politics
Categories :: Blowhards

Before the election, there was no shortage of stupid, inane, and downright psychotic "controversies" cooked up by the GOP. Now that we're older and wiser, it's time to return to those days for an examinaton.



12/17/04 :: By Drew Johnston
How Quickly We Forget
Categories :: Blowhards

Just heard on “The O’Reilly Factor”, regarding an event at which Chevy Chase referred to the President as “a dumb fuck”:



12/13/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Old-Fashioned Wisdom
Categories :: Activism

Sometimes, you find wisdom in odd places.



12/09/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Atrios-Bashing at CBS.com?
Categories :: Blogging on Blogging :: Media

Newsalert: CBS writer slams Atrios with some pretty serious (and largely inaccurate) accusations.



12/02/04 :: By Drew Johnston
The Magical World of Sex Education
Categories :: Education :: Humor :: Sex

Prior to this, I didn't realize just how bad abstinence only sex-ed programs really are. "Choosing Best" really deserves this mockery.



11/13/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Modding the Election: The Aftermath
Categories :: Satire

The thrilling conclusion to "Modding the Election".



11/11/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Modding the Election: An Epic Struggle
Categories :: Satire

While my colleagues are assembling detailed election analyses and long lists of facts, I'm playing computer games and calling it work. Ah, to be an Internet political satirist.



11/02/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Observations Made O'er FREEPville
Categories :: Blowhards :: Election 2004

An outline of a post-election contingency plan for a Bush victory, or a cheap attempt to dovetail some random quotes into a quick November 1st post? You decide.



10/28/04 :: By Drew Johnston
A Glimpse Into the Future
Categories :: Campaigns

Ridiculous stunts, biased polls, cheap political pandering - let's see what the Clouded Crystal Ball has in store for the final week of this election season.



10/22/04 :: By Drew Johnston
The Deification of George W. Bush
Categories :: Conservatives :: George W. Bush :: Religion

The right-wing Christians in the conservative power structure are trying to make Bush into some sort of saint. Am I the only one that's disgusted by this?



10/20/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Education, Obesity and Beyond
Categories :: Education

No Child Left Behind is a bad program, but its effects are more far reaching than you think. Added bonus: the secret to immortality revealed!



10/14/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Presidential Word Count the 3rd - The Final Smackdown
Categories :: Election 2004

Kerry introduces Bush to the backside of his hand yet again, and I'm there to report on it.



10/09/04 :: By Drew Johnston
The Presidential Word Count Part Deux
Categories :: Election 2004

The Presidential Word Count for Debate #2 - Now with 75% fewer al Qaeda agents!



10/05/04 :: By Drew Johnston
The Tough Guy Challenges
Categories :: Campaigns :: Satire

Conservatives want a tough guy in the White House. I think I can help them find one.



10/01/04 :: By Drew Johnston
The Bush Word Count
Categories :: Election 2004

Bush stumbles through his first debate, and I have the scoop . . . sort of.



09/29/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Spin With a Grin
Categories :: Propaganda/Spin

Something's making me smile, and I'm sure you want to know what it is. Because you do. You really do.



09/21/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Know Thy Enemy: What We Can Learn from the GOP
Categories :: Tactics In Michael Moore's latest "Mike's Message", he wrote the following: Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the doomsaying! Do I have to come there and personally calm you down? Stop with all the defeatism, OK? Bush IS a goner --...

09/16/04 :: By Drew Johnston
The State of Things, or This Post Is Not About the Killian Memo
Categories :: Terrorism

Before I write a post, I read through several major blogs to see if there’s anything worth writing about. If there’s a noteworthy story, I take 30 minutes and write an angle on it. The problem with this strategy became clear today, when I realized that if I followed it, I’d end up writing about the damn Memogate story. You know what? I don’t care. The blogosphere spent the last week arguing over whether or not a typewriter could produce the memo, and for that we should all be ashamed, left and right alike. I don’t care, and by the looks of things, no one else cares either.



09/10/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Tale of the Document, Part 2
Categories :: Propaganda/Spin

OK, so we now that yes, Virginia, there were typewriters with proportional spacing in 1972. But, alas, that fact alone is not enough. You see, the “forgery” would-be scandal is what brother-in-arms Tbogg refers to as an “evolving smear”. If you check the post on Powerline (no, I’m not linking to it) you’ll learn that the original accusation has been modified 14 times. Basically, a series of self-styled experts wrote in to talk about what else is wrong with the documents, and the ‘wingers treat it as gospel.



09/06/04 :: By Drew Johnston
O'Reilly and the Role of the Pundit in Society
Categories :: Philosophy

How Bill O'Reilly inspired me to create a model for societal growth and collapse, and what it means for the punditocracy.



08/31/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Bush Makes an Honest Statement; Armageddon Begins
Categories :: Satire Bizarre climactic and tectonic behavior have scientists and theologians alike talking about the end of the world. Over the last week, the eastern seaboard has been raked with storms of sulfur and molten lead, killing thousands. The Midwest has experienced...

08/22/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Furbies of Doom and other Prognostications
Categories :: Satire

The CIA stumps for Bush, so I mock them ruthlessly.



08/17/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Trust No One: The McCarthy Model For Fearmongering
Categories :: Terrorism

The Bush Boys have found an even better way to scare us shitless.



08/09/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Memorandum: National Preparedness Month
Categories :: Satire From: The Dept. Of Homeland Security To: Vice President Richard Cheney Subject: National Preparedness Month As you know, September is to be declared National Preparedness Month. We have drawn up a preliminary schedule of events which will require the approval...

08/05/04 :: By Drew Johnston
A Delicate Issue: Point-Counterpoint
Categories :: Religion

This is an interesting story, one that will probably be popping up throughout the political community over the next few days. It's the kind of thing that sounds ridiculous at first brush, but it ends up being surprisingly complex. Here's a synopsis: A woman is fired from the telecommunications company she worked at after she broke a company policy forbidding pork products on the premises. The CEO and administrators were Muslims who followed the Koran's very strict regulations regarding pork (they won't even touch pork, or anything that has been touched by pork).



08/02/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Dennis Hastert, the IRS, and My Plan to Settle the Feud
Categories :: Taxes

I think that we can all agree that Republicans hate taxes. No matter how deep into the red we go, we can always rest assured that they will raid Social Security or cut vital programs before increasing taxes. So when I read something like this [Warning: Drudge link], I'm tempted to believe it in spite of the source.



07/28/04 :: By Drew Johnston
The Lost Coulter Scripts
Categories :: Blowhards Today, I got a chance to read the Ann Coulter column that USA Today rejected. Frankly, I understand why they shot it down. It’s even more ridiculous than most of her screeds. The whole thing read like someone else doing...

07/26/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Doublethink and the GOP
Categories :: Hypocrisy In 1984, George Orwell described a concept called "doublethink" (not doublespeak, like so many pundits seem to believe). Doublethink described the ability of the Party to hold two totally contrary ideas and switch between them as necessity dictated (i.e. "War...

07/23/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Making Sense of Fringe Right-Wing Blowhards
Categories :: Satire

A few years ago, I had to do a “found poem” for a creative writing class. For those of you not familiar with the term; a “found poem” is a poem composed of phrases taken from other publications and reassembled to form something new. It’s not my favorite form of writing, but it can be good for a challenge. Today, I present a sample of this style: A found poem composed of phrases taken from the latest edition of the Democratic Underground Hate Mail Bag. Edits have been made for clarity and decency, but I have tried to preserve the “unique” spelling, grammar and capitalization of the original authors.



07/22/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Money Makes the World Go 'Round
Categories :: Government

What happens when the “fiscal responsibility” ideal of the Republican Party conflicts with the “support the troops” ideal?



07/21/04 :: By Drew Johnston
Clinton Aide Subject To Yet More Nonsense Accusations
Categories :: Satire One of the stories circulating throughout the right-wing community is this bit about Clinton-era National Security Advisor and former Kerry campaigner Sandy Berger. Supposedly, Sandy stole sensitive documents regarding Clinton’s anti-terrorism policy from the National Archives. It’s worth noting that...

Headlines
06/10/05

  • Dem leader Nancy Pelosi: 'We have to destroy their brand'
  • After funding cuts, senator says GOP targets Sesame Street for 'destruction'
  • Hearing Set on Downing Street Minutes, War Plan
  • Family Values: Porn star at GOP fundraiser - GOP committee says no qualms with paid sexpert at president's dinner
  • Sexual Predators Cost Catholic Church $1B And Counting
  • Crackpots Invade Tulsa Zoo
  • Babyface a Losing Look for Politicians



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